Webbed feet

I’ve been thinking about the advantages of webbed feet over feet with toes.
It may have been really useful (long ago) to move away from the web feature and develop digits similar to those on our hands, but their slow evolution into fairly useless toes (I mean, you can’t even hold a tin opener in them) has not been of much help to mankind. (Women are ok because painting their nails is a contented activity whilst the rain pours down.)
Since early childhood I have not been really ‘in touch’ with my toes. I get down there once in a while to trim the nails and I massage them when they are sore from walking, but the rest of the time I reckon that they don’t do much. As a baby I was clearly highly preoccupied with them – there is photographic evidence to back this up – but nowadays I regret to say that when I’m down there with the nail scissors I am beginning to look around to see if anything else needs doing before I regain the upper atmosphere if normal posture.
With all the rain we have been having there have been all sorts of ‘webbed feet’ allusions in conversation. None of it very helpful, although I have to say, if the floods pour into the house webbed feet might prove a life-saver. I mean, imagine the scene – the water swirls round the kitchen and out of the back door, carrying you with it. You kick off your shoes and BEHOLD! Webbed feet! With extra strong bionic strokes you land safely on dry land and hop off back home once the waters have abated. Brilliant! It would save the emergency services lots of money and free them up for non-swimmers. (I’m getting a kind of Jeremy Fisher image here!)
There is just one thing that is worrying me though – with the British weather throwing all 4 seasons into one – cold feet. What could we do about keeping them warm? Socks?
So, here I come to the question of the day: does anyone have a knitting pattern for socks for webbed feet?
(Jemima Puddleduck would love to hear from you!)
Quack…

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About apthomas

I love books, reading, writing, baking, chocolate, painting, sewing, people and fairtrade - not necessarily in that order. I am a lazy gardener - who loves the garden, and a lazy housewife who likes the place to be warm and welcoming. I live in beautiful Somerset. I am enslaved by Sherpa-the-cat. Saturday mornings find me 'playing shop' in the Honey Pot - a second hand bookshop, run from my garage, where along with the books you'll find fun, friendship and refreshments - all in a good cause.
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