furniture waltzing

Now, I’m sure that most of you have partaken in the fine old tradition of furniture waltzing – but you may not have realised that that was what you were doing… until now.  In order to furniture waltz you really need two people – and a piece of large and cumbersome furniture.  The sport has added frisson if the furniture is self-asssembly and has already partially fallen apart and is held together with one of those elastic spider things that are sold to you for keeping stuff on car roof racks, but which is used for 101 things OTHER than that!
Ordinary furniture waltzing involves gyrating around a room with the aforementioned large piece of furniture until (several paint-knocks and knuckle scrapes later) you find what appears to be the perfect place for it – or, having realised that the whole thing just isn’t going to work, managed to replace (most of) it in its original place.  Ordinary furniture waltzing leads to a certain degree of marital stress ("I said left, but of course I meant my left, not your left" style of thing) and much house cleaning – as you are forced to recognise the terrible state of grime in which you habitually live, move and have your being.
However, Sunday afternoon saw OV and OVW (myself) indulging in a new and scenic form of furniture waltzing, which involved taking in a tour of the garden as well.  I have to say that the self-assembly-falling-to-bits-computer-desk-from-IKEA at which I now sit and bash this out, joined in the fun with great vim and made a very pleasant partner in the exercise.  The dance began in the sitting room and  by way of the patio door (mind the pond) snaked round the back of the house and in through the dining room french doors (mind the wisteria and the earwigs).
It was extremely jolly and the marriage withstood the strain quite well.  Mind you, had we got the direction a little wrong OV would have tripped over the cunningly placed low fence and taken a plunge into the aforementioned pond, so matters might have been quite different.  As it is, I have plenty to occupy me for the rest of the week sorting out the debris.  The sitting room is smart and clean and ready to receive guests – but then half a dozen hand bell ringers are decending on me tonight so there was an enormous incentive to get it finished.  I’ve even (unsuccessfully) had a go at concealing the ugly scratch sustained by the dining table when a man I know pushed a box (complete with jagged staple) across it last week.  Good job I’m not materialistic…much.
In other news (as Carbon Copy would say) thank you Nancy for supplying Barbara Kingsolver as the author of Prodigal Summer. "Miss Hargreaves" – read it and loved it!
I haven’t read all the books Stuck-in-a-book recommends – but I was one of his earliest fans and have been subjected to his persuasive arguments for many years.  I have to say, there is not a book that he has recommended me that I have failed to enjoy – but then, he is kind to me and only recommends the ones he knows I’ll like.  His ‘between-the-wars’ writers are a delight.
Oh, and if I lay my hands on a copy of Miss Hargreaves I’ll be auctioning it off to the highest bidder for charity!
Now back to the boxes.

About apthomas

I love books, reading, writing, baking, chocolate, painting, sewing, people and fairtrade - not necessarily in that order. I am a lazy gardener - who loves the garden, and a lazy housewife who likes the place to be warm and welcoming. I live in beautiful Somerset. I am enslaved by Sherpa-the-cat. Saturday mornings find me 'playing shop' in the Honey Pot - a second hand bookshop, run from my garage, where along with the books you'll find fun, friendship and refreshments - all in a good cause.
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5 Responses to furniture waltzing

  1. Unknown says:

    My mother was a solo furniture waltzer par excellence and I seem to have inherited the "if I wait for someone to help it will never get done" gene. Men are supposed to be more spatially aware but I contest that they don’t have spatial vision. "I wonder if  we (really meaniing "I") moved that over there, took that upstairs into x’s room, shunted that along a bit and …….". It’s amazing how many pieces of furniture you can fit into one room if you have second furniture sight.

  2. Unknown says:

    Gosh and on a Sunday too!  Welcome to blog world.  I have been very lax of late, too much taxi driving for she who must be obeyed who is currently "strutting her stuff" three nights and all day Sunday in preparation for a show at half term.  Yet another missing holiday!

  3. Anne says:

    Thanks to the two ‘no names’ who have added comments.
    ‘On a Sunday too’ – I must defend myself by pointing out that Sunday afternoon is the one time in the week when I am likely to find OV poring over a newspaper whilst digesting a well-prepared lunch (I do try sometimes!) and available to take the heavy end of a piece of furniture. The rest of the week is totally unpredictable and endlessly busy.  As I said, having moved the furniture I have all the time in the world (well. a couple of days) to sort out the mess!! 🙂
    I also loved the piece on furniture ‘second sight’.  I think it is true to say that I think I have it, but, sadly, have been proved a couple of cms adrift so many times now that I stick carefully to a metal tape measure and repeatedly check the furniture and the space available – only to be out-witted by the ‘swirl factor’ i.e. the amount of space needed to stand up and turn round hurriedly when called by a family member.  It’s always more than you think!
    Thanks for calling – it’s good to be able to offer you both uncluttered chairs!  OVW

  4. Unknown says:

    Out of the following, what did you wear for this exercise?  Yards of tulle, fake tan, fixed smile, sequins……………

  5. Anne says:

    Mmm – hard choice. I think the answer ought to be ‘68,000 sequins sewn on by hand’ but the reality was less glamorous: the usual trousers and long knitted jacket (just to trip over you understand!)
    Next time: "how to "box clever" with the contents of the attic’ or ‘101 dishes in the kitchen…that you don’t use!’  OVW

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